Common Tests

So this is it - three days into the doldrums and I find myself with one foot in the frying pan, the other in the fire. Even before the results of the Common Tests are out, I can already detect a soupçon of blood in the boiling water which I presently find myself in.

It was, admittedly, quite a feat on my part to make an absolute wreck of the International History paper, and circumstances further contrived to rub salt into my wounds. The first step on the path to unmitigated disaster was taken when I decided to unreservedly defend the Soviet Union for their establishment of a military cordon sanitaire in Eastern Europe, a risqué proposition especially since there exists in certain quarters historians who are not exactly aufait with my revolutionary ideas. Yet, the point of no return was only reached when I was denied the chance to fully expound on the merits of my position, when the onset of what, in medical parlance, you would call gastralgia interrupted my dynamic train of thought. I was forced to spend precious minutes convalescing in the washroom, which was no doubt a major contributing factor to my lacklustre performance, as later events will prove.

In the meantime, I look forward with fresh optimism to the commencement of the Literature paper this afternoon, and with that I urge all who are currently sniggering at my unenviable situation to banish all premature thoughts of schadenfreude.

"Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success."
Christopher Lasch The Culture of Narcissism